


My Dad is a Planet?

by LeftShark



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: James is a Wizard, peter's dad is a planet, what else could possibly happen, yondu is a liar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:07:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeftShark/pseuds/LeftShark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After snooping around in some secret nova files, Peter discovers who his dad is, then goes to Yondu for an explanation.</p><p>Yondu, unable to explain, takes Peter to see his friend, who just so happens to be a wizard AND the only person who knows the true story of Peter's dad, to help.</p><p>There is also a dog.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Dad is a Planet?

**Author's Note:**

> All of this is made up okay. Don't believe it's real. Its for humor

"Yondu!" Peter's hands were now red. "Yondu!" He banged against the door continuously.

When he arrived on the ship, he was fuming. Upset, confused, and angry. Lucky for him, the space for his m ship in the hangar was still there, unused. He parked his ship, climbed out of it, and stormed his way straight to the captain's quarter, fuming so hard that no one dared attack him, despite all the trouble he'd caused.

"Yon--"

Peter stopped his fist mid bang before it smashed in to the face of an angry blue Centuarian.

"Boy, if you don't--"

"Yondu, my dad is a planet!" Peter blurted, the anger on his face melting in to complete confusion.

Yondu raised an eyebrow. "What the fuck are ya on about, son?"

"My dad is...a planet..? And, I'm so confused...Yondu, help me." Peter frowned.

The captain looked around to make sure no one was watching, then grabbed the front of Peter's jacket, yanking him in to the room and closing the door. "What happened, Pete?" He ushered the boy across the large room and in to a smaller one where a large bed sat.

"Well," Peter frowned and climbed on to the bed, grabbing the blankets and pulling them around himself. "It's been two years and nobody gave me any kind of hint as to what Nova Prime was talking about. So...I did some snooping, some illegal, some...not so illegal. I went through all kinds of Nova files– and found a lot of things I didn't want to know— and...my dad is a planet. And his...or, it's? Name is Ego..."

Yondu contemplated his next words. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. "I know."

"You KNOW!?"

"I know," Yondu confirmed. "An' his name really fits him. That guy's got a huge fuckin' ego."

"You KNOW!?" Peter repeated. "But, wh--how!! What!? But my mom, she...how...a planet!?"

"Boy, hush."

Peter shut his mouth.

Yondu sighed. "Ego was a very powerful man," he began. "He was a handful, though. Quite crazy."

"Like Hyperion?"

"But a million times worse. An' he was dangerous. He was the last of his kind, too. Can ya imagine that?" Yondu said, sitting on the bed beside Peter. He could tell Peter was truly upset, but Yondu wasn't the kind of guy for soft physical contact. He pulled Peter in to a headlock instead. "Being the only one of your kind out here in this big ol' universe?"

"I can kind of imagine," Peter thought back to being brought aboard the Elector. Being the only Terran out in space having contact with aliens. "So, it's possible to...Uh...procreate...with a planet?" Peter asked, trying to pry Yondu's arm from around his neck.

Yondu stared at him.

"What, boy?"

He gave up on trying to free himself. "Ego is a planet, right!?"

"Peter, no....Peter...ya don't understand. C'mon." Yondu let go of Peter and stood up.

"Where are we going?"

"To pay a visit to my good friend..."

"Please don't say James."

"James. He's a wizard, Peter. Hell, he can control anything that happens to you or me." Yondu said.

"Wizards are dangerous, Yondu."

"Not James. He's my friend."

"If you're supposedly best friends, how come I've never met him? You're always blabbin stories about him and how you've been long time friends, but I've never seen him in my life," Peter frowned.

"Because, he's a wizard." Yondu said, slipping on his trench coat. "A powerful one."

"And?"

"And you were very dumb, and still are very dumb, and if ya go goofin off and piss him off he'll off us both, Peter! It's almost like we're just characters in a script written by him. He can make anything happen to us." Yondu adjusted his coat.

"I don't fuck with that," Peter said, refusing to get up.

Yondu raised an eyebrow. "He has a dog--"

"Sign me the fuck up, let's go, what are you waiting for!?" Peter said, jumping up.

 

 

 

The wizard's lair was dim and cool, hidden in a cave. The rocks were black and wet, and mist pooled around Peter's ankles.

"How do you see where you're walking!?" Peter cried out after accidentally kicking a large rock.

Yondu said nothing and trudged on ahead until they reached a deadend.

"How are we supposed to get anywhere!?"

"James," Yondu said loudly. "Open up your secret trap door and let us in, fucker."

A piece of the wall seemed to disappear, opening up a hallway.

"C'mom Peter."

Peter happily followed, glad that he didn't have to walk through a misty pathway anymore. "Are we walking through a library?" He questioned, noting the shelves of books that lined the wall.

"Yeah, but it's not like he reads these books anyways."

Yondu led Peter in to a large room in the library, with extremely high ceilings and long walls that were lined with books.

Toward the back of the room, there was a large table, and an equally large chair that had it's back facing the two.

"Is that the wizard?" Peter whispered. Yondu nodded.

"Yondu Udonta." The wizard said, still facing away from the two.

Slowly, the man spun the chair around. Peter prepared himself for the worst, imagining an old, creepy, troll-like man with a long white beard and wrinkles. What he saw shocked him.

This man didn't look wizard-y at all. He was skinny, had dark hair that stuck up in every direction, and had large, black-rimmed glasses. He had a bit of scruff on his face, but nothing more. He looked like a normal Terran man. He dawned a large blue cape with a high collar and a matching blue hat that seemed to be sliding off his head. He didn't look like he cares or wanted to bother to adjust it.

"What brings you here?" The wizard asked, leaning back in his chair and folding his hands together.

"Where's the dog?" Peter blurted, looking around the room. "Yondu said you have a dog."

The wizard smirked, "I do have a dog."

"But where is it?"

"Von Spears!" James called loudly. A bark was heard in the distance, then a dog charged in to the room, tail wagging happily as it pounced at Peter.

Immediately, the half-terran knelt to pet and cuddle the dog, grinning.

"We're actually here because the boy here has some questions," Yondu said, patting the dogs head. "About his dad."

Peter stood up. "Hello...I'm Peter Quill."

"I know," James replied. "And I am James Gunn."

"You're a wizard."

"Yes. And you have questions about your father?"

Peter rubbed the back of his neck. "Actually...yeah...he's a planet. Why? I mean...from my understanding, my father is a planet...how is that possible?"

"Your father is not--was not a planet. But he was a very strange man."

"You knew him?"

"I know everyone." James replied.

"So...tell me about him? Because Yondu won't tell me anything and I'm starting to think he doesn't actually know anything!"

Yondu elbowed Peter.

"Ow! It's true!"

"Your father was a very powerful man." James began. "The only one of his kind. A species that should have been completely nonexistent. His entire planet was banished to an unknown and isolated sector of the Galaxy. No one wanted them around, but he escaped. He managed to get away. He refused to be what the rest of the universe had deemed him as."

Peter stepped closer, listening intently.

"He traveled from planet to planet, learning different cultures and languages and ways to blend in, trying to make allies in every place he could. But once he caught wind of the infinity stones, that was all he longed for. Power. More than he already had. With an infinity stone he would be almost unstoppable...and with all of them, he'd rule everything...he went power hungry."

"But..."

"Perhaps it was the years of pent up anger and frustration from being viewed as an outcast caused him to turn evil. Anyways, he was able to collect infinity stones— without the gauntlet. And literally everybody evil you could ever think of was after him. Thanos threatened to behead him, Galactus probably threatened to eat his planet, who knows— besides me, of course. Once it was found out that his kind could collect the stones with little or no harm done to them, everyone wanted them dead. He fled. The infinity stones got scattered across the galaxy in his haste to get away. He had one with him when he ended up on Earth, stranded when his ship malfunctioned. That's when he met your mother. When he was able to, he repaired his ship. He had to go back to his planet, or else he'd lead danger straight to you and your mother, but he promised to return once everything was okay."

"He lied," Peter huffed. He jumped in surprise when a loud meow echoed in to room and looked up to see a cat sitting on the table in front of him.

"That's just Emily," James said. "She wants you to pet her."

Peter reached a hand up to pet the feline, smiling as she purred loudly. He could feel her chest vibrating under his hand.

"She likes you," James said, smiling as well. "Good."

"So...my dad...either he lied or nothing was ever okay, which is hard to believe."

"Patience, young one. He returned to his planet to find it under attack. He was the only one left alive. He fled, again, choosing to wreck havoc on the Galaxy instead of befriend everyone. Already upset that he'd lost his infinity stones, he let this tragedy consume him. Many of the allies he'd made died at his own hand. He scammed and conned his was through the planets before returning back to his planet. Everyone that thought he'd finally given up...but, being the last one of his kind, with full power, he scaled the side of a mighty volcano that jutted out of the top of the planet and threw himself headfirst in. He dove in to the lava and swam to the heart of the planet, using every ounce of power he had to morph and become one with the planet, until their hearts were merged together. He caused the planet to become sentient."

"So basically, he became the planet?" Peter asked, scratching behind Emily's ears.

"Well, yes. Have you ever heard of anyone who was able to destroy a planet with no struggle? It's hard. Imagine trying to destroy a planet that was aware of it's own existence and had power. The only person who would possibly do that would be Galactus...but even then he'd have trouble."

"Wait, so...um...is Galactus real?" Peter asked, stopping his petting.

"Very."

"But I thought he was just a made up thing! Yondu used to tell me that if I didn't stop crying, Galactus would eat my home planet and when I got older I thought that he was just messing with me and Galactus was just made up!" Peter's face paled. "You mean a giant really exists and he can eat planets!?"

"And you don't want to end up on his bad side." James said.

Peter took it all in. "So my dad was an asshole and he turned in to a planet...and Galactus is real?"

James nodded. "And I'm a wizard. So I know everything."

Peter turned to Yondu, who had been awfully silent. 

"And you couldn't have just explained that to me? About my dad and all?!"

"Yondu didn't know shit about your dad," James said, rolling his eyes. "Ego hated him. They were both petty and childish when they confronted each other, too."

"Hey now, don't go tellin my boy lies, ya ol wizard!" Yondu huffed. "Me an' his daddy got along fine!"

"Really?" James smirked. "'Cause if I remember correctly, you—"

"Alright pal, the boy and I gotta get going, see ya around!" Yondu said quickly, grabbing Peter and pulling him towards the door.

"Wait I wanna know what happened!" Peter yelped."

"No time, we gotta go, bye!"

"But wait--"

"I said bye! We're leavin, boy!"

**Author's Note:**

> I just needed a made up story about Pete's dad because it would have literally been impossible for Meredith to have a baby with a planet unless she like fucked a tree or something so he had to be a person first okay
> 
>  
> 
> Tell me how it was


End file.
